Sheffield council yesterday accepted they had fundamentally misunderstood the concept of ‘socialism’. 

Following a vehement rejection by local residents of their plan to cut down eight mature trees alongside Rustling Road in Sheffield, and contrary to the advice of their own scientific experts, council workers turned up at 4 in the morning to cut down the trees.

Protected by 15 policemen, they knocked up locals to remove their cars, and engaged their chainsaws at 5 am. 3 local residents remonstrated but were arrested, including 2 pensioners.

A council spokesman for the Labour controlled council said “We are undeniably socialist, albeit in a mid-1930s, German way”.

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