Sun “journo” and fist of reason, Jeremy Clarkson was recently prevented from boarding a plane in Stuttgart, Germany and he claims that the bigoted Argentinian airport worker who prevented him from doing so did it because of Clarkson’s “accidental” faux paux in a Top Gear Special.

The episode, set in the country that Britain once had a bit of a tiff with, had a car with the registration plate H982 FKL.

Which was totally random and although it is exactly the kind of thing that Jeremy and his buddies did all the time on the show, anybody suspecting that it was done on purpose to wind up those Argies is clearly a loony left, hippy, broccoli bonker.
The Argentinian in question- a Spaniard named Manuel Pereira- says that it was actually the fact that Jeremy and his entourage arrived at the gate after the final call and that nobody would have been allowed to board the flight at that point- even if they hadn’t made a TV programme about a country completely unrelated to the worker at the check in desk.

Mr Clarkson, whose new show Grand Tour hasn’t got nearly as much publicity as he’d like despite him dedicating at last two Sun columns and a Times column to it, claimed that Mr Pereira had sworn at him, claimed to be Argentinian and then marched him off accusing him of being drunk.

Mr Clarkson clearly was not drunk as his response- “I’ve only had one”- has never been uttered by anybody who’s had more than one and he was seen hanging out in a lounge- a star in an unreasonably priced bar- whilst his fellow passengers were boarding the plane. Clear evidence of his innocence.

“Anyway, the flight we ended up getting got to London first,” said Mr Clarkson “So there!”

Suggestions that publicity hungry Clarkson and co deliberately staged the late arrival after they were informed that one of the check in guys was Argentinian and they didn’t bother to check whether or not the Latino looking guy on duty actually was the Argentinian bloke (who’d gone home early with the shits) or not are being denied. Or would be if they were being made in the first place.

Jeremy Clarkson is about 5 years old.

When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.