Theresa May has finally been able to speak to President-elect Donald Trump after 24 hours on hold listening to elevator music.

The Prime Minister has moved quickly to assure the British public that the call with Mr Trump went “very well” and is thrilled to assure Britain that there will be “peace in our time.”

A spokesman for Downing Street said;

“I know that people are worried about a Germanic demagogue being elected to the highest office in the Western World. And fine I know he did it by mobilising angry white people against minorities but it’s  not as if he’s going to have any actual power is it? I mean you’d at least need the support of the Reichstag, did I say Reichstag? I meant Senate to do anything really crazy like dispossessing Jews, sorry I meant Mexicans and Muslims.”

The last time a German Demagogue, without the popular vote and no experience of government was appointed to a nation’s highest office was 1932. He was given the keys to the military and made of head of state in 1934 with dictatorial powers conferred upon him, but only for four years.

“History is not repeating itself. There will be peace in our time, or is it for our time. I can never remember.”

Theresa May was unavailable for comment but was apparently last seen placing an order for 25,000 tins of baked beans at her local Waitrose.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.