The Democratic Party is today asking “How could this happen?” after they fielded the most hated politician in American history to be their candidate.
“We honestly thought that Hillary- who’s George Herbert Bush but with a vagina and in a pant-suit thing would be really popular,” said Harold Lloyd of the DNC, “Sure she’s generally considered to be an evil representative of a liberal elite that annoys many Americans by its very existence and she has a history of being really nasty, hawkish and dishonest but other than that, why wouldn’t people vote for her?”
Questions are now being asked such as is it possible that basing your opposition to Trump entirely on fantastic doomsday scenario predictions if he wins and ad hominems might not have been the best response.
“No,” said DNC representative Irma Token, “It’s because not enough blacks, Latinos, women and other minorities came out to vote! And also Trump’s a racist sexist homophone who ‘others’ all these groups of people I am blaming for his success.”
We decided to look at whether the press and its deliberate painting of Trump voters as as uneducated and unsophisticated morons might have some portion of blame, We asked a Republican voter and Trump supporter what he thought and he said, “Haaaaa! In! Your! Fucking! Liberal! PC! Pussy! Faces!” and burped loudly.
“I think it is all being blown out of all proportion,” said political commentator Anne Optimist from her newly constructed bunker, “and I am sure everything will be fine. Now, would you like some cyanide cake?”