The Dalai Lama is said to be incandescently furious with Louis Smith after he was overheard calling Buddha a “fat fucker”.

Two time Olympic Pommel Horse runner up, Strictly Come Dancing winner and sore loser Louis Smith is in hot water with Buddhists after film emerged of him pointing and laughing at a carving of a Buddha.

In the video Mr Smith is heard to say;

“The four noble truths are just bollocks. Existence isn’t suffering. Suffering doesn’t have a cause. The “eightfold path” of right views, right resolve, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration are rubbish” and that “Nirvana was over-rated.”

The Dalai Lama is thought to be considering issuing the Buddhist equivalent of a “Fatwa” against Louis Smith and told a reporter from The Rochdale Herald;

“You can’t go around laughing at religion or poking fun at people’s beliefs. Next thing you’ll be telling me is that facts are more important than opinions or that freedom of expression is more important than people’s feelings.”

Hindu groups are also annoyed after Lewis Hamilton said Ganesh looks a “bit like an elephant” and Christian Groups called for Chinese Ping Pong ace Ma Long to be suspended from the Olympic Team after saying that “Jesus probably didn’t walk on water” and that it was likely “just another allegory.”

More on this as it breaks.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.