In an online survey comprising over 10,000 people, Celebrity Chefs ranked number 1 in a choice of 100 of the most important and influential professions.

The shouty glorified cooks just scraped top place with scientists coming in at a close second, footballers in third place, fire fighters in fourth and paramedics just making the top 5.

Mick Jones who voted for footballers said;

“It’s daft isn’t it? They act like they have the most important jobs in world and are the most painfully serious people you’ll ever meet. Its like, woah, ‘you cook food bro. See that guy on table three who’s laughing? Yeah,  he’s a brain surgeon, saved a life today, but granted, that’s nothing compared to the sheer genius of your taster menu’. Bore off.”

We asked Gorden Ramsey for comment but he told us the fuck off, so we caught up with Heston Blumenthal instead who said;


“It’s an honour to receive such a high accolade.  Whenever we cook, us mere gods, we’re not just feeding you, we’re feeding your soul. It’s not about food, it’s about artistry. It’s a way of life. A calling if you like.”