An emergency cross party parliamentary meeting has been organised for 1:00pm today to try and resolve our broken political system.

With the Tories fighting each other over Europe, Labour fighting about their leader, the Lib Dems fighting with anyone who’ll listen and UKIP fighting about who has the biggest cock, the state of our democracy is in tatters.

Party leaders held a secret meeting yesterday to decide what needs to happen for order to be restored.

In the plans outlined, MP’s will have one hour to sit with people they like in the party that most aligns with their current political views with no questions asked, hopefully restoring unity across the board.

The Tory benches are expected to swell with disgruntled Blairites and a deck chair has been supplied for Tim Farron who will more than likely be be sat alone.

More to follow