London readers will notice scaffolding appearing on the iconic Tower Bridge today (Saturday) as the bridge is now closed until December in order to house migrants, mostly from Syria and Iraq. 

The plan by Labour Mayor, Sadiq Khan, is to house 5,000 refugees and asylum seekers in the historic location for the next two months.

“We obviously have swarms of immigrants that we need to give free housing to,” said spokesman for the Mayoral office, Osama Ached-Wilkins, “and they’re going to be able to take jobs faster if they have a fancy address.”

Questions were raised in parliament when the plan was floated but the short-term relief scheme was largely applauded. Whilst some have hesitated to openly back the scheme it has cross party leadership support.

Not everyone is happy though. Myra Hilter of Facebook political party Britain Fashed said the scheme was totally unfair. “These people what wasn’t even born in our proudful nation get free Oyster cards and a roof over their heads when elderly white British war heroes have to eat cat food from one of those weird squeezy packets, with a dirty stick, under a bush!”

The council has assured Number 10 that those migrants housed in the bridge that fail to take anybody’s job by the time it reopens just before Christmas be given Stately Homes or made Peers of the Realm.