The West: Well, Russia. What do have to say for yourself?
Russia: Vot? I don’t know vot you are talking about.
The West: That missile! We investigated and found out it was a Russian missile, fired from a Russian Buk!
Russian: No it vosn’t.
The West: We had independent people look into it!
Russia: Zey aren’t Russian. Zat means zey are politically motivated.
The West: We picked the most independent-
Russia: No! Zey are not Russian! You vant independent investigation? You need my cousin, Sergi. He werry werry independent. He independently inquire whatever you like. For price, yes?
The West: Listen, you stubborn Ivan! We’ve got evidence and everything!
Russia: No. Your effidents is not good. It vos not us.
The West: Ooh, you bleeding fibber!
Russia: We are like your Bart Zimpson, yes? It vosn’t me!
The West: We won’t stand for this!
Russia: No? You propose war? I thought not. How you say..? Ah, da: eat my shorts!