The West: Well, Russia. What do have to say for yourself? 

Russia: Vot? I don’t know vot you are talking about. 

The West: That missile! We investigated and found out it was a Russian missile, fired from a Russian Buk!

Russian: No it vosn’t.

The West: We had independent people look into it! 

Russia: Zey aren’t Russian. Zat means zey are politically motivated. 

The West: We picked the most independent-

Russia: No! Zey are not Russian! You vant independent investigation? You need my cousin, Sergi. He werry werry independent. He independently inquire whatever you like. For price, yes?

The West: Listen, you stubborn Ivan! We’ve got evidence and everything! 

Russia: No. Your effidents is not good. It vos not us. 

The West: Ooh, you bleeding fibber!

Russia: We are like your Bart Zimpson, yes? It vosn’t me!

The West: We won’t stand for this! 

Russia: No? You propose war? I thought not. How you say..? Ah, da: eat my shorts!

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When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.