A crisis has arisen in a Rochdale school after a Chinese whispers cock up of epic proportions went much further than any sane person could imagine.

Not wanting to be left behind Rochdale Council jumped the gun and began work to open up the school used as the set for Waterloo Road, before it was exported to Scotland.

Completely misunderstanding the brief John Allendale from Rochdale LEA made a gleeful press release that Rochdale was ready to open its first “Grandma School” included in the very excitable release was shock news that Mary Berry had been lined up to run the doomed project.

Mary Berry was quoted as saying she was “Very disappointed, I really thought the children of Rochdale were ready to tackle my signature lemon drizzle cake”

It is also believed that Gillian Duffy had been lined up to teach the children world studies, in a hope to bring tolerance and racial harmony.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.