There were scenes of unprecedented jubilation at the news of the corduroy communist Corbyn’s reelection at Downing Street today.

A spokes-Sloan for the Tory Party told us;

“This is a great day for democracy and for the Tory Party. We expect it’s going to take Jeremy a decade to select a front bench, it might even take the Labour NEC that long to let him.”

“For the first time in the history of the United Kingdom we know exactly how many communists we’ve got, 313,209, plus Jeremy of course. I reckon even the Liberal Democrats can get more votes than that in a general election. Cheers.”

In better news sales of corduroy jackets and leather elbow patches have gone through the roof and milliners have reported a 61.8% increase in demand for Marant Caps.