The new Momentum Youth Wing that has been proposed will be nothing like the Hitler Youth Momentum and Corbyn are insisting.

“Well obviously they’re nothing like each other. They were really very right wing and we’re very left wing. It’s all about the Workers right, you’ve got to start them young if you want to indoctrinate, I mean, teach them about communism, sorry I misspoke I mean Trotskism, sorry I did it again I meant fairness.” A Momentum spokescomrade told us.

When we pointed out that the Hitler Youth was also about workers and in fact was called ‘Hitler Jugend Bund der Deutschen Arbeiterjugend’ (Hitler Youth League of German Worker Youth), admittedly not as catchy as ‘Momentum’, he said;

“Well, err yes, technically they were called that but they were really right wing and we’re left wing. Anyway you couldn’t join the Hitler Youth until you were at least 10, we’re doing crèches we’re starting them at 3. You can’t get to them young enough you know.”

The Momentum Youth Wing, or Tiny Trots, will promote “political activity that is fun, engaging and child-friendly” presumably by doing things kids enjoy like singing songs, telling stories maybe some camping and stuff. A bit like the Hitler Youth;

“No, seriously, you’ve got the wrong end of the stick. It’s going to be nothing like the Hitler Youth. They were really left wing and we’re really right wing, sorry it’s the other way around. You’ve got me all muddled up. We’re going to create an army of political activists, sorry that was the wrong word, give me a second, I can’t think of a different one. Erm, horde, no, mob maybe, batallion. Look it’s nothing like The Hitler Youth.”

Momentum Youth will be running 150 clubs to “teach” children about “politics” around the country. Sounds fun.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.