Edward Snowden, the famous whistle-blower and internet freedom campaigner, has angered unelected PM Theresa May (or May not but she’s not going to give a running commentary.)

He compared the privacy hating Tory to Darth Vader because of her Snooper’s Charter.

The furious Führer said “I see through the lies of Snowden. I do not fear the dark side as he does. I have brought peace, freedom, justice and security to my new empire!”

Snowden said that the internet could be a tool for freedom and real democracy but May and others like her wanted to hijack the medium and use it to spy on citizens.

“Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed,” said May, “I find his lack of faith disturbing.”

However, on calming down the PM said that people like Snowden could be an ally for a responsible government:

“Edward, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the interwebs.”

However when Snowden refused she lost her cool and shouted “You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take him away!” before realising he had been speaking on a Skype call from Moscow.

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When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.