A man, a manly man, a red-blooded meat-eating man, scrolled past a post on eating non-animal products today and thought ‘Meh, live and let live,’ and thus broke the internet.
Harrison Hunter apologised later and explained it was just a lapse of judgment.
“Obviously I would usually post a picture of a burger or a slaughtered lamb, or I’d say something about there being more meat for me,” he told reporters, “but I’d just had a nice onion bhaji and was feeling quite considerate of other people.”
A spokesman for OPERF (Only Poofters Eat Rabbit Food) told the Herald that Hunter had let the side down and it was a dereliction of his manly duty:
“Every decent, meat-eating caveman should make the effort to always point out that vegans are always pointing out that they’re vegans on every single vegan related post on the internet! We must make sure that everyone knows that we eat meat and allude to blood running down our chin or something!”
Millions of men who are equally insecure about their manliness have demanded the removal of Hunter’s man-card with immediate effect.
“But I really like bacon!” insisted Hunter, “Sometimes I don’t even cook it!”
OPERF insisted it was too late and that the damage was done.