The editor of The Rochdale Herald was left horrified aboard a flight to Rhodes yesterday after reading an article in a copy of The Telegraph he “found”.

“Most undergrads can’t tell the difference between Burgundy and Bordeaux once decanted.” Quentin raved down the phone during the fourteenth call on day 1 of his two week digital detox.

Apparently there was an article in the Telegraph about a guide to being a university undergrad at Cambridge that was written in 1883.

“What do you expect from bloody Cambridge. Poor show. They also said something about not tupping the tobacconists daughter and other drivel. Who else are you supposed to rut with?”

“How can they call themselves a university if they aren’t screening students properly to make sure they don’t end up with paupers and fucking plebs. I mean what are they asking them? Next thing you’ll be telling me is that they don’t dress for dinner anymore.”

Oh Quentin