Thousands of very attractive and highly intelligent people were mildly inconvenienced this afternoon following a technical issue at the Herald’s data centre.

The Rochdale Herald’s technical wizard, James Grossweiner Jnr, was performing routine maintenance on the social media servers earlier today, when one simple slip of a piggy little finger resulted in all Herald subscribers being inundated with email notifications.

“I was inundated with email notifications.” Dave Cradle told us “I don’t know what inundated means, but I’m outraged!”

“To be honest, it was just nice to feel like I was part of something.” said Sue Beardon “My inbox hasn’t been stuffed like this since I was at uni.”

This from Natasha Colcombe “When my phone started beeping at me like a demented R2-D2, I thought something really important was going on. Turns out it was just some emails from a site I’d forgotten I’d subscribed to. The Rotherham Harbinger or something…”

Mr. Grossweiner went into panic mode when he realised what he’d done, and promptly scarpered. He was discovered several hours later under a pile of coats in the cleaner’s cupboard on the second floor, soaked in sweat and shaking uncontrollably.

He was coaxed from his makeshift den by Barbara the cleaning lady, who used softly spoken words of encouragement and the biscuits from the tea room to gain his trust. Thankfully there were chocolate Hob nobs in the tin. He’s now recovering from his ordeal on the sofa in the break room on the fourth floor.

The Herald would like to offer an unreserved apology to all of it’s subscribers on Mr. Grossweiner’s behalf. Rest assured he will be taken in hand. And not in a good way.

 

 

 

 

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