In an unusual turn of events, the French have today declared that they can’t even be arsed to have a proper strike, and that apathy is all it takes to create cross channel misery. 

Instead of their usual fare of refusing to untie the boats or make sure planes don’t crash into each other, the garlic stained cheese eating surrender monkeys are now just going even more slowly than usual. 

Union spokesman Voiture D’Que said in a horribly offensive and sterotypical accent; “zis protest means we can continue to get paid while at ze same time making ze stupid eengleesh suffer. It iz ze most fun we have had since Nigel Farage infiltrated ze stupid country.” 

He continued, “We were going to make all ze trains of yours zat we own run really slowly, but we figured you would not be able to tell”. 

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