Theresa May, the first unelected Prime Minister to have deliberately had her hair cut into the shape of a bell end has given an interview with the BBC in which she said precisely bugger all.

“It may not be plain sailing but there’s room for opportunity, ” said the PM discussing Brexit,and the bleeding obvious. Also she said that referendum result had shown voters did not want “free movement to continue in the way that it has done in the past.”

Perhaps assuming that the interviewer hadn’t heard the results yet.

“People also want to see job opportunities, to see economic opportunities,” she said, adding, “They want to mostly not die and wouldn’t enjoy being set afire. Generally. ”

Mrs May said the government would not trigger Article 50 until after next year, which doesn’t tell anyone anything they don’t know, and is a time frame of from next year until the heat death of the universe.

“I think if you look at some of the results that are now coming out of polling in Scotland, they suggest that the Scottish people don’t want there to be a second referendum,” she said. Which is equally as true as saying that if you look at some of the results that are now coming out of polling in Scotland, they suggest that the Scottish people do want a second ref.

Mrs May said the Scottish government would be “fully involved” and “fully engaged” in the Brexit discussions, which considering that Scotland is in Britain comes as little surprise to people born in the last 300 years.

Asked about Grammar schools she said that she would comment after Education Secretary Justine Greening had reported back but she wanted to give pupils “opportunities in life”. As if anyone in politics would ever say otherwise.
Dr R Send of Rochdale Community University said “She said less than David Cameron used to say in interviews and he just repeated the phrase ‘I think it’s right’ over and over for six years! “

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.