Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a “former sex worker” in an article about her immigration status.

“Listen, despite us providing an important service, we are shunned by society and treated terribly. Deliberately associating us with an airheaded fascist’s moll is an insult too far!” said Daisy Chainz, an escort from Slough, “We actually do work and have a use! Our status in society is already unfairly low, confusing us with Mrs Airbrain Von Trumpwit is totally unfair.”

The Daily Fail has retracted the story but the case will still be brought.

“We didn’t mean to conflate our hard-working men and women with the epitome of gormless showsticks and have removed the offending article,” said a Daily Heil spokesorc yesterday.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.