Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am. 

“I was fuming” he said. “I’ve not had a day off in two years and there’s so much I needed to do like creosoting the fence and clearing out the gutters.”

Brendan had a well deserved lie in before switching his TV on a 12:00pm. 

“Come Dine with Me was on” he explained. “I’ve not seen it for years so I thought I’d just watch an hour. The next thing I know it’s 9 o’clock, it’s still bloody light outside and I’ve done fuck all! Then I had to go straight to bed.” 

Losing a full day to bitchy cooking degenerates made him very angry with himself and the show.

“I was very angry with myself and the show” he said.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.