The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm closes its doors for good.

“Rochdale Pots & Plates” has been firing clay in its furnace for the best part of a century but today it finally put out the fire and made its last plate, leaving 6 people redundant. A very sad day for local business.

We spoke to owner Mr Tom Wilkinson  who told us;

“We just haven’t received any new orders from restaurants in years. We mostly sell to general public because at home they tend to enjoy eating from a plate, it’s just when they go out to eat these same people seem to want to eat their dinner off a fucking toilet seat, a bin lid, a car bonnet or broken tile. Without the bulk catering orders we just haven’t been able to run a full order book and so we forced to close.”

A top local chef who wished to remain anonymous told us;

“Why use a boring old clean white plate when I can serve you a salad in a towel, a steak on a paving stone or my particular favourite, garlic bread served in a wooden clog.”

Twats.

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Illiterate writer of nonsense. Great at headlines but tail off during the story ;-) Available for weddings funerals and kids parties. Never lie, or do I? Married to a retired supermodel come part time donkey racer. Will work for beer and crisps.