Medics were today called to Sports Direct at the Kingsway Shopping Centre in Rochdale after a member of the till staff collapsed in shock.

Mary Jayne Watson (31) from the Falinge estate was working what seemed to be another ordinary shift at the budget quality sporting retailers when the incident occurred;

“This guy had just brought 8 packs of socks and a pair of size 9 flip flops and I was just about to ring it up when I asked if I could interest him in a bag for life or a magazine for a pound? And before I had a chance to hand him his socks he said yes please…to both!”

“7 years I’ve been on the tills and I’ve sold maybe 5 bags and not one magazine. So to do the double were pretty special. It was a bit unnerving if I’m honest.”

“I should have left it there really but I went and asked him if he wanted a giant mug too. Some of them are older than me. Next thing I knew I was in the back of a helicopter on my way here.”

Sports Direct who have been dogged by allegations of poor working conditions haven’t yet commented on the story.

Mary Jayne remains in a critical condition. More on this as it breaks.

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Illiterate writer of nonsense. Great at headlines but tail off during the story ;-) Available for weddings funerals and kids parties. Never lie, or do I? Married to a retired supermodel come part time donkey racer. Will work for beer and crisps.