Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in the state own no books.

The book bonfire was to be the centrepiece for the event that was billed as a “fun filled family Trump day out ” and has left many supporters disappointed.

“I was hoping to see me a book, I heard of them but I just never seen me one.” One gap toothed, bandana wearing lunatic in an eye-patch and a Trump t-shirt told us. “I love me a fire, I specially like me a good cross on a lawn fire. TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP!”

There is reading material available in the state now that Mein Kampf is back in print and everybody has a subscription to Guns & Ammo monthly. Apparently the state has one copy of Atlas Shrugged, though that hasn’t been seen for years.

“I once saw me a n****r loving dirty beaner pinko Jew libral reading so I shot him. Reading and learning and thinking is un-American. TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP. Sieg Heil. Build that wall!” A man in a Kevlar vest, a huge beard, with wild eyes and an Armalite told us.

More planning has gone into the next book burning which is scheduled for next week in Why Not, Mississippi with books being trucked in from the East Coast.

More on this as it breaks.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.