Steven Woolfe, the chief xenophobe-in-waiting of totally unracist UKIP party has been caught out forgetting things.

Again.

After forgetting to apply for the candidacy he’s standing for and forgetting to renew his membership, his episode of political dementia is the slightly more serious forgetting to mention a conviction when applying to be a police and crime commissioner.

“I made a foolish mistake 14 years ago which I regret. As the years went on I forgot about the conviction. To be fair, I was pissed.”

“Most people forget things that happened a couple of years earlier,” said memory expert Noah Khantri-Kall, “but most people will remember it when filling in a form that specifically asks you. Except liars and fuckwits obviously.”

Rumours that such a rubbish candidate was put up on purpose so that Nigel Farage has a legitimate looking excuse to unresign are yet to confirmed.