As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots celebrate the last thrashings of America’s hold on reality with the nomination of Pinochet-a-like Donald Trump to the Republican Party presidential ticket, ground shaking revelations about the US Constitution have begun to emerge.

The Constitution of The United States of America was signed at The Philadelphia Convention on September 17th 1787 and was a ground breaking civil rights charter that defined the framework of government for a new democratic nation.

However the 2nd amendment wasn’t added to the constitution until 1791.

“Wut?” Cleotus Smithnwesson the third, a Trump supporter carrying an Armalite outside the Republican Party Conference asked last night when we told him the Constitution could be be changed.

He went on to say “I thought it was written in stone by God on Mount Everest in Kentucky and given to Ronald Reagan to show the Israelists who was boss. You aten’t no wetback, n*****r loving libtard are ya?” whilst thumbing the safety catch of his semi-automatic assault rifle, so we decided not to push him any further.

The Constitution has been amended, changed, modified or augmented 27 times in order to improve it, a fact the NRA are keen to keep quiet.

Gun owners across the country, when told what the word amendment meant, unanimously said “no it doesn’t, it means my God given right to an opinion and an automatic rifle, now f**k off.”

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.

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