Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely “off the hook”.

We can only imagine what kind of party you might throw for 472 of your closest friends who’ve just given you a big chunk of a £31Bn missile contract but we’re thinking mid 1980’s Freddie Mercury would have struggled to keep up.

One unnamed senior executive was supposedly heard to have said;

“We can’t believe they bought it. It’s just some old oil tanks with a radiation symbol painted on the side and full of washing machine parts. We give them a lick of paint every now and again and hey presto. We figure if the time ever comes for them to be used no one will be left to sue us anyway.”

Simon Danczuk, pornography enthusiast and Independent MP for Rochdale voted in favour of Trident.

We were unable to reach him for comment this morning, but apparently he loves a good knees up.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.