Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each and every one was taken out of context

Just in what context describing a female politician as looking like a sadistic mental health worker is not actually insulting wasn’t made clear. Nor was how his myriad gigantic fibs might be true if viewed in another light.

“Listen, we could go over all the many, many times I have made obviously racist insinuations or said blatantly sexist things,” the post-truth politics posterboy may have said, “but actually everyone who reads the full context in which these seemingly ignorant and offensive remarks were made knows exactly what I really, truly meant. The rest of you are just thickies, really.”

No doubt that piccaninnies and New Guinean cannibal chiefs are suitably placated.

Let’s hope that the lying, upper-class bell-end doesn’t take our description of him as a total arse-faced, wankfart of a bunglefuck out of context.

We wouldn’t want the lardy twat to take unintended offence.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.