As far as flash in the pan fashion trends go the 2015-2016 beard pandemic appears to be showing no sign of relenting with sales of beards and lumberjack accessories continuing to soar.

The forecast is not looking good for disposable razor companies such as Gillette, the last great beard epidemic lasted 73 years between 1837 and 1910 and with this one showing no signs of relenting, investors are getting twitchy.

“Beards are still part of counter culture and largely down to the hipster (wanker) movement. Once somebody gets a beard in the mainstream, then we’re really screwed. Why do you think we give Prince William free razors?” Said a spokesman for P&G, owners of Gillette.

“I don’t care how dirty or scruffy mine makes me look,” said Jamie, avid Crossfit aficianado and beard expert. “It’s still cool, so there.”

Men unable to grow beards have been advised to stay out of sight until the trend subsides.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.