The National Executive Committee of the Labour Party has announced today that only those to the right of Tony Blair will be permitted to vote in the forthcoming leadership election.

“Obviously if you’re willing to pay extra we might consider letting you vote. Unless you’re a fucking Trot. Which you probably are,” said a spokesman.

Angela Eagle welcomed the move as a “step to safeguard Trident- No! Democracy! A step to safeguard democracy!”

Democracy is, an NEC representative said “the ability of MPs to ignore the oiks on the street and vote for whichever leader they want.”

The vote will exclude people who joined on the promise of being able to vote and new union members as the possibility of voting for Corbyn is clearly anti-democratic.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.