Stephen Crabb has resigned from the government after it came to light that he had sent sexual texts via WhatsApp to a lady who is both female and not Mrs Crabb.

It is not known if this was the reason for his resignation or whether he was dumped from the cabinet as part of Theresa May’s reshuffle.

“I never expected that Crabb would be caught doing anything like that,” said a close friend of Dorothy, “If he’d been caught on Grindr I wouldn’t have batted an eye. That beard is fooling nobody.”

Crabb, whose association with Christian whackos who claim to cure homosexuality strangely didn’t bother anybody in the Conservative Party, recently stood in the Tory leadership contest and replaced bullet-headed pleb hater Iain Duncan Smith as Work and Pensions Secretary. He likes gyms and comfortable shoes.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.