There was consternation across the US yesterday after the police department in Bumshart Nebrahoma went a whole day without shooting an unarmed black civilian.

Heavily armed policeman in the US have been routinely shooting civilians in their cars during traffic stops or strangling unlicensed cigarette vendors on a daily basis to ensure murder rates are kept high enough to justify the continuation of their enormous budgets and the further militarisation of law enforcement.

Bumshart PD issued a statement apologising for the oversight and have promised to murder an extra unwitting civilian tomorrow.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.