Jeremy Corbyn has called yet another emergency cabinet meeting today after Rochdale superstar Adnan Khan resigned from his position as Shadow Culture Secretary.

Corbyn’s press secretary called the meeting after Adnan tweeted his resignation with a Vine­ type of social media video message­ but refused to be drawn on when exactly it would
take place.

Khan, known on the streets as Menace, was recruited to the Shadow Cabinet after the mass resignation of nearly everyone and the sacking of anybody who hadn’t.

Hat expert Adnan Khan

“I thought it was my big chance to make a difference and help fix our broken country,” said the hip hopping high-­flyer, “but when I got there the cabinet was made up of four Polish tourists, a bag of Werther’s Originals, Jeremy Corbyn’s cat, Bob the Westminster cleaner and a book of Russian poems.”

Jeremy Corbyn’s cat and shadow chancellor Pavel Florensky

The only other political types there, according to Khan, were Tom Watson, who was whispering into a phone, Cat Smith – Shadow Minister for Young People, and Seumas Milne the press secretary. Adnan is hoping to at least get into the record books as being the quickest resignation in Westminster history.

He will be replaced as Shadow Culture Secretary, presumably, but nobody knows by whom.

We hope Jeremy sticks with hiring Rochdalians and look forward to hearing your thoughts and suggestions which we may forward to Mr Corbyn’s office in these confused times

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.