The UK is still in shock after voters in their millions turned out to vote for leaving the EU. Several months have passed since the results came in and many of the key pledges made by the Leave campaign have begun to unravel.

As a large proportion of the population struggles with buyers regret The Rochdale Herald has learned that the validity of the referendum itself may be called into question as it may in fact all have been an elaborate Bullingdon Club dare.

“I don’t think anybody thought it would go this far” said Boris Johnson. “But then again I don’t think anybody really expected David to fxxk a pig. He’s a dark horse, he fxxked one of those too by the way.”

Lager louts and despots

The controversial Bullingdon Club was founded in 1780 as a cricket club. By the 1980’s the club was no longer involved in traditional sports rather choosing to focus on more wholesome activities such as smashing up small businesses, burning money, bestiality and elaborate bets.

“Boris bet me a quid in 1987 that I couldn’t smash up the EU. Who’s laughing now?”

Boris at the annual Bullingdon Club sports day

The Herald has learned of similar bets involving George Osborne and the welfare state, Cecil Rhodes and The Commonwealth, and Bhumibol Adulyadej and constitutional democracy on the Thai peninsula.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.